Reflections on Aging: Searching for Spiritual Models
by Rev. Pat HoertdoerferCan you imagine...
- A society where elders are honored and revered?
- Where wrinkles are a sign of dignity?
- Where life experience counts?
- Where elders are sought out for their wisdom, their ability to listen, their capacity to bring peace to the situation?
If you live in the Ecuadorian Andes, people have exceptionally long lifespans and an elder has great status. If you live in Japan, you regard old age as a source of prestige and celebrate a national holiday called Honor the Aged Day. If you live in the United States today with our emphasis on the production and consumption of material goods, elders experience an elongation of their lifespan, but without a clear sense of the meaning of these later years for either themselves or society.
Does "successful aging" in America mean a time for prolonging productivity, embracing leisure, or battling inevitable diminishment and loss? The conventional Western model of successful aging assumes that the losses accompanying age should be combatted wherever possible. Our culture's message is to take vitamins, exercise daily, support causes, join book clubs, or take a cruise! A successful elder must maintain an active lifestyle. But spiritual models of aging from the world's wisdom traditions offer rich alternatives to these production/consumer models. They call for embracing the losses of age and using them as methods of liberation. From these perspectives growing old can be viewed as a new curriculum for the soul in the last season of our lives.
In the words of spiritual leader Ram Das, we were in "somebody training" in the first half of our life. We were building an effective identity—family/work/community identity. But having mastered being somebody, we become ready for the next lesson—how to transcend that limited self-definition. If I am not just this body or this Mom /Dad, or this job title or this community leader, who am I? What is the true self that transcends these roles? Aging raises these questions and may provide the time and perspective to engage them with spiritual depth.
In Spiritual Passages, author Drew Leder discusses the teachings from different wisdom traditions of the various routes to later-life spiritual wholeness. The Hindu renunciate (forest- dweller stage when elder renounces earthly ties) sets off on a contemplative quest. This forest dweller welcomes disengagement as a time to cast off the many roles and duties of midlife. By abandoning all attachments to worldly objects, the renunciate is free to focus on life's true goal—achieving union with God. The Buddhists remind us of the need to face and accept death. The Jewish story of Sarah and Abraham speaks to later-life rebirth, joy, and creativity. Taoism reconnects aging to the great cycles of nature. The passion of Jesus explores the loving connection to God and neighbor that can transform suffering into grace in later life.
A Native American elder presents a contrast to the Hindu renunciate. Listen to the voice of Audrey Shenandoah, Eagle Clan Mother of the Onondaga Nation:
People choose a clan mother by watching how she has lived her life and cared for her family. She has to be someone who has a family and knows the responsibilities of being a mother, because that's evidence that she will take care of all the people as if they were her children... Clan mothers also have the duty of selecting a candidate for leadership chief in the clan... We have much to learn from the incredible knowledge of our ancestors which was gained long before reading and writing came about. Humans knew and felt relationship to all that lived and moved. Somehow that relationship must be regained.
Here the elder, through the blessings of long life, remains with the tribe and takes on a guiding role. In our modern world we are often obsessed with youth and the latest technology. Our need for elder wisdom has been forgotten. In modern American culture we live in a time of widespread materialism, oppression, and violence. Elders might help guide us back to the wisdom of looking to the seventh generation, of inward contemplation and service to community. Yet elder wisdom does not follow automatically from long life. For age to produce a sage, a process of spiritual maturing is needed. But where in our current society are the programs and communities built to nurture the elder soul?
Some faith communities have their senior programs. Nursing homes and retirement communities employ chaplains and hold worship services. Pastoral care is available for the sick and dying. But religious leaders can do so much more! We need to envision new ways to support later-life spirituality. Today one of the most innovative programs is the Spiritual Eldering Institute (SEI). The Institute was started in 1989 by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi in affiliation with the Alliance for Jewish Renewal. SEI evolved out of Schachter-Shalomi's confrontation with aging, which he has articulated in his book From Age-ing to Sage-ing (©1995, Warner Books).
Today's Spiritual Eldering Institute embraces an interfaith philosophy and welcomes participants from all traditions who are interested in contemplative practices, service to others, and elder leadership within communities. SEI conducts workshops across the United States to help individuals turn the aging process into a "sage-ing" experience, nurturing capabilities for wisdom, spirituality, and service.
My experience in SEI's Leadership Accreditation program nurtured my growth and learning in the inner work of spiritual development and in the outward connection to community service. The Spiritual Eldering curriculum teaches adults how to heal the past, how to harvest life wisdom, how to approach death and dying in peace, how to live fully, to find meaning and purpose. As a Sage-ing® Leader I now offer programs in conjunction with faith communities and in senior centers, hospitals, and community centers. Participants receive exposure to the SEI curriculum and specialized services; for example, help with retirement and estate planning, practice with contemplative disciplines congruent with their spiritual values, and assistance with mentorship opportunities and service leadership within the community.
Let us imagine innovative programming for our elders to nurture their spirituality. Religious denominations need to recognize and value life experience and the gifts of age. Faith communities need to support elder leadership within their congregation. Congregations need to be centers for elder spiritual development and community service that combines ancient wisdom with contemporary needs. Just imagine!
Resources:
- Schachter-Shalomi, Zalman and Ron Miller. From Age-ing to Sage-ing® A Profound New Vision of Growing Older. New York: Warner Books, 1995.
- Leder, Drew. Spiritual Passages: Embracing Life's Sacred Journey. New York: Tarcher Putnam, 1997.
- Wall, Steve and Harvey Arden. Wisdom Keepers Meetings with Native American Spiritual Elders. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing, Inc., 1990.
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