The Sage-ing^® Guild

My Experiences with SE Program
by Marilyn Weissend

If Science could stop the ageing process and freeze you for awhile at a certain age, what age would you pick? I heard this question on the radio recently and it got me thinking. I decided I would choose right now. Why right now? Not the youthfulness of 25 or the fullness of 35 or 45, but right now at 67 years and ten months of life experiences. Right now, I am Cancer free after two bouts with the disease. My husband is healthy, my family self-sufficient and I have time to go slower.

I have been on the journey from "Age-ing to Sage-ing" as defined by Rabbi Zalman for about three years now. My program started with Rosalie Muschal-Reinhardt's internship when she was training to be a Sage-ing® Leader with the Spiritual Eldering ® Program. I was part of her group learning the principles and the process of Spiritual Eldering®.

One of the first activities we did was to talk about our life review and begin to write about lives in order to "harvest our wisdom." I found the technique of dividing my life into seven-year cycles as described by the calendar months to be most helpful. In doing these Cycles of Life, I was stunned to realize that I was in the October of my life. If all I have is until December, that's a sobering thought! What better reason not to waste a day or even a moment.

I now realize that I started my Eldering process years ago when I looked death in the face after a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. I was 49 years old at that time. I wasn't sure that I would live until Christmas. Then, I wanted to see our four children grown and settled. They were 28, 27, 25 and 22. As I recovered I became hopeful—maybe I would live to see them married. Maybe I would see grandchildren.

I never dreamed I would see all this happen. Each child is married, we have 13 grandchildren and the icing on the cake is that I lived long enough to collect a retirement check from Social Security and a pension after fifteen years of teaching in the Nursing Department of a local college.

I began to be grateful for each birthday that passed. I prayed for the privilege to grow older.

When the cancer returned a second time I was drawn up short again and life was "on hold" for another year of chemotherapy—but by this time I had retired from work and had begun to take time for more reading and going slower. I am so happy to report that I have been cancer free for six years.

Spiritual Eldering has helped me to focus on clarifying how I want to live the rest of my life. My Eldering Group of Sagers has focused on life review, worked on forgiveness, discussed the ageing process, looked death in the face together. We have discussed ways to make our lives more meaningful and peaceful through improving relationships with the important people in our lives.

I am continuing to fill in the blanks of my Cycles of Life exercise, uncovering blurred memories of childhood and young adulthood. My middle years of raising a family seem to need the most thought to uncover those blurred years of constant busyness.

I recently dropped a bombshell on my son and his family as we celebrated a birthday by saying, "Are you aware that your Dad and I are in the October of our lives? December is getting closer all the time." They were shocked at first and said, "Don't talk like that." But I said "It is true and I am so grateful to be celebrating another birthday."

I am work in progress—I'm still working on putting my affairs in order so that my family will not have to do that—but more importantly, I'm working on ways to repair any relationships that I may have damaged, any unkindness I may have done. And most important I am working at these questions, "How do I fill my life with peace and joy?" How can I contribute to the well being of my family and through them—the world at large?

We Elders need to work for loving kindness and peace everywhere. We need to start with our own self in our home. I am grateful for the time to go slower, for time to reflect and meditate, to go from doing to "being."

I am grateful for having had the Spiritual Eldering Program to help give me direction at this time in my life.